This week marks the anniversary of the blur that was Jessie's death. Perhaps I will one day find the way to write about that week for public consumption--bizarre does not begin to describe. I found out from the mother of a friend of hers. Her Father was riding a horse at Virgina Beach with the girlfriend he'd left me for--the girlfriend not two years older than Jessie. Her Mom was in El Salvador, having refused to cancel her trip with her second husband and their adopted child, after all others on the tour had canceled because of riots... Her brother was in Indiana, having just returned to school from a summer visit home, not long before.
I did not know how she had died, nor where. Only that it had happened.
It was not a usual day, nor a usual week.
And I miss her still and always and through to my core. Which is something that has complicated my week without the complications.
I do not care for August, and I do not need to. I may choose to dislike it all I wish, even though it is punctuated with good. I think I'll choose to refrain from liking the month, okay?
... I MEANT to add "for now."
Thank you Pauline for your comment, which made me look at this entry again!
Accidental Spring
"Accidental Spring" This began as the background for painting other papers, but became something else!
4 comments:
We do what we can with what we have. There is no disgrace in that. Someday you may find joy in August and that will be okay too.
Exactly for now have two julys and sail right on thru to september.
Now, see? I hadn't thought of that one! I like it, Carl.
I don't blame you for feeling the way you do about August. But I do think you are a special person and your little step-daughter knew it. I hope you begin to feel better soon.
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