My Gratitude List for Thanksgiving

• That I had the mother I had: her unconditional love, her intelligence, her imagination, her acceptance of my need to believe in all things magical, her passion for beauty.
• That I had the sister I had: her unconditional love, her patience and her desire to teach me about the beauty of asymmetry and the incomplete line, her devoted belief that I had talents beyond the ordinary, her faith in my strength, her grace in the face of so much criticism, her insatiable curiosity, and her unbelievable grace in the face of death.
• That I had my brother Jack: His protection of me no matter what from our brother, his acceptance of a baby sister who followed him everywhere, my best friend through high school and half of college, his beautiful and deep brown eyes, his ability to step forward and own his own mistakes two years before he died, his ability to refuse a liver because he knew his limitations--that he would destroy it through his drinking, and his grace and sweetness in his last two days when I was with him in the hospiatl.
• That I had my father: his passion for my mother despite his philandering, his love of his children--flawed yet palpable, how he insisted on shopping for Christmas to "even things out," His attitude that if money did not help people you loved what was the point, his belief in me as an artist--not a nine-to-fiver.
• That I had my son Jason and Jessica: though I never gave birth, I had all the joys of loving them, of working with them, of hearing their joys and sorrows. I could not love two children more. And I have a son who shows me every day that he is a loving, kind, gentle man.
• That I have friends full of talent, love, generosity of spirit, curiosity, and unbelievable strength.
• 
  That I have Adam and Claire, my friend Gail's children--they give me joy, even when I would like to smack them upside the head with a comfy pillow. They are loving, warm, sensitive and are funny enough to take their show on the road. And they have unique talents--Claire in art and Adam in music. It is a joy to watch them develop their abilities.
• That I have known what it is to love without reservation, regardless of the outcome.  I learned the lesssons from my mom and from my sister--to give love without expectation of return, and that we can use it as a reservoir of light upon which to draw for other things in life
• That I have learned that love given is never a waste, whether or not the gift is received well or discarded.  It has lessons of its own--EVERY kind of love--for children, parents, siblings, friends, and even lovers who leave. It is never wasted.  So I am grateful for those who have inspired me to love--every one. While it is so wonderful to be grateful for the love I have received in my life, perhaps we learn just as much from the ways in which we GIVE love, even when it is hardest, even when our lives are full of loss or pain

My sister will be the one of whom I will write soon. I think I have learned about giving love as much from her as from my  mom.

May God or whatever Spirit or Light one chooses to tap into. keep all who read my blog, anonymous or otherwise, safe and happy for this American Thanksgiving weekend.  Thanks for hanging in there with me. I'll be back.